The Acts of King Bubu son of Hari Chapter 2: 1-32
1And when the son of Hari the cattle rearer had become King over the people, he made a decree saying thus, “O good people hearken! Behold I am your King now. I am beholden to no one and I am beholden to everyone. Thou shall no longer call me Emperor, but thou shall call me King Bubu son of Hari. And lo, I shall not tend to the provinces in which nine score and seven in hundred stood by me same as I would tend the province in which only five in hundred stood by me. For different measure shall I apply for different people.”
2And when the people heard his decree, they murmured among themselves saying, “Surely King Bubu son of Hari would pitch us one against the other.”
3Whereupon King Bubu Son of Hari appointed Warlords from five provinces of the land and named them commanders of men, but he would not appoint any from the province east of the big rivers inhabited by the Hebro, for only five in hundred there stood by him to elect him.
4And King Bubu Son of Hari appointed, from among his kinsmen and townsmen in the land of Almajirite and other provinces, men to serve in his palace and as right hand men: butlers, town criers, principals, chief scribe, councilors, quarter masters, house masters and several others, but he would not appoint any from the province east of the big rivers inhabited by the Hebro, for only five in hundred there stood by him to elect him.
5But the people from the province east of the big rivers inhabited by the Hebro were not persuaded for they do not cower before man nor tremble before kings for their works speak for them. Thus did they address King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer, “We cast our lots as our spirit led us in favour King Jonah son of Locki. Lo, we shall do same again if called upon!”
6When the people lamented and said to King Bubu the son of Hari, “O wise King, may your reign be peaceful, and may you defeat all your enemies and bring prosperity to the land. O good King, you swore a covenant with us saying : ‘ Make me King in place of Jonah and in 100 days, and I will rout She-cow and his gang of terrorists from the land, feed yours little sons and daughter daily in our various temples of learning, and make our cowry equal in value to the mighty dollar! And your able men, I shall give jobs in our orchards, and ten thousand silver coins to those without work.’
7“O good King, we have kept our part of the bargain, fulfill your vow, that you may be free from the bond of the covenant. O good King, kill She-cow and bring back our daughters and appoint also Masters to oversee affairs of governance.”
8And the Keeper of Treasury also spoke and sayeth to King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer thus, “O good King, I give cowries in exchange for dollars and dollars in exchange for cowries, that the mighty dollar may not completely overshadow our cowries, and ruin our trade with neighbors and kingdoms beyond the seven seas. Pray, O good King appoint ye Masters of Coins and Master of Trade that I mayest counsel with them to help with our cause.”
9Wherefore King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer answered and said unto them, “O good people, I did not promise to do a thing in hundred days. And as for the Masters, there is none worthy and holy as I am. Lo, I continue the search for holy men amongst you. In the fullest of time when I shall find them, verily I say to you I shall appoint them as masters for you.”
10Now the house - Alliance of Protected Crooks aslo known by their initial - APC, was the most deceitful house in the land and several vile men swell their rank. Their banner has an insignia of broken broom held by a filthy hand.
11 Liar son of Momed speaks for them and he bore false witness against many, and he uttered many lies - great and small to the people of the land. Some few believe him, and several others curse him for the lies he told. Lair the son Momed is said to have been born with a lying tongue.
12He it was who spoke to the people saying “Lo good people, our great King Bubu the son of Hari body language has improved our power; his body language has done more in six weeks than Jonah the son of Locki did in six years. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad O good people for surely, King Bubu son of Hari’s body language will bring food to our table, oil for our lamps, and fix our road, and defeat all our enemies.”
13Oshi the son of Omole, lover of exotic maidens also bear their standard and sometime speak for house of Alliance of Protected Crooks. Yet he knoweth not whence to speak and when to hold his peace.
14Oshi the son of Omole it was who spoke to people saying, “O good people, the household of Emperor Omanman of United World, had told me the names of those who looted our treasury and carted away at least six oxen full of gold coins and precious gems. Whereupon the household of Emperor Omanman rebuked him saying, “Begone! We know not know what that sayeth for thou speaketh untrue words. We gave you neither name of who nor the number of oxen of gold coins carted from thy shores. Pray, tell wherefore did thou hear this great tales, that we may inquire and enrich our knowledge.”
15Roch the sly son of Cha also also fly the standard of house of Alliance of Protected Crooks also known APC. He broke ranks with his kinsmen from the land of the Hebro. And when he had returned from the journey to the United World to visit Emperor Omanman, he caused several giant tapestries depicting his handshake with Emperor Omaman, with King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer to be commissioned. Roch the sly son of Cha hung the tapestries in the city square with a message saying, “Behold what I have achieved, the new face of prosperity!”
16Now there are other vile men in Alliance of Protected Crooks including Fanshi the son Olar who among others used several bags of cowries, much more than usual, to dig well for water in his official abode, and several more bag of cowries, again much more than usual, to tell the world what he did!
17Amec the swift, son Chyi is another vile banner man of Alliance of Protected Crooks. He it was who took from his kinsmen treasury and gave several bags of cowries to the cause of King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer wherefore Bubu become king.
18And in those days, She-cow, who led the purveyors of terror and tormentor of the people who ravaged the land of slaughter the people, addressed the people saying, “I am She-cow the terror; the one who was, the one who is, and the one who is to come. News of my death is a lie told to deceive you King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer and his Warload. By Hallah, you shall serve my god or become my slave, or I shall annihilate you.”
19Now the commander of King Bubu men of war is a fearsome Warlord. He is called Bura the snake charmer, son of Tyia. When Bura, the snake charmer, son of Tyia, heard the word of She-cow, he flipped his cloths, push his chest up and down to show his muscles and mass of flesh. “She-cow and his band of brigands are noise-makers and cowards,” he declared, “I shall crush him, and all who stand with him.”
20 Then Bura, the snake charmer son of Tyia and his men ran around the city seven times, so that the people may know that they are strong and many in number.
21Then Bura, the snake charmer son of Tyia and his men fell upon the tents and encampments of She-cow, and slew many who follow him.
22She-cow fled with some of his men and hid among the people who are allied to his cause. Thereupon, She-cow and his band of brigands continue to ravage the land, plunder, maim and kill and disappear among the people who are allied to his cause.
23And the wandering shepherds and tribesmen of King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer, who had forge unholy alliance with She-cow and his band of brigands, invaded the fields of a retired Chief Scribe – Fala, the son of Aye in the land of Yoruga, who had allied with King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer. Thereupon, these wandering shepherds laid waste to his fields, and destroy his crops. They took Fala, the son of Aye captive for several days and would not let home go until several bags of gold in ransom had been paid. And they warn him sternly not to speak about them least they will come again for him!
24And from across the big rivers, there arose another zealot, Nnam the Bright, Son of Kalu, and he addressed King Bubu the son of Hari thus “Let my people go!”
25And when the price of a tuber rose from eight cowries to eleven, and a measure of grain rose from nine to twelve cowries, the people again began to murmur.
26When King Bubu the son of Hari saw and heard all these, he was distressed. But he would not name himself Master of War even as She-cow and his brigands continue to kill, maim, pillage and take captives and spoils even close to his palace. Now King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer would not make himself master of grains, tubers and cattle even as he possess great skill at cattle rearing.
27But when King Bubu son of Hari saw the abundant milk and honey flowing in lands beyond the big rivers, King Bubu was exceedingly glad. "Lo, I shall appoint myself Master of Milk and Honey. I alone shall decide how the cows are milked and how the honey is shared for I alone is worthy”, he proclaimed.
28And when the time had come, King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer unveil #thelist of men whom he had found worthy to serve as Masters over the people.
29Now these are some of men King Bubu Son of Hari the cattle rearer chose as Master over the people: Amec the sly son of Chyi who looted his kinsmen treasury. Fanshi the son Olar who among others used several bags of cowries, much more than usual, to dig well for water in his official abode, and several more bag of cowries, again much more than usual, to tell the world what he did! Another is, Liar son of Momed who bore false witness against many, and he uttered many lies - great and small to the people of the land.
30Many were men who wine and dine with King Jonah the Able son of Locki, and some were the vile men who had sought safety under the banner and fold of Alliance of Protected Crooks known by the initial APC.
31And when the people saw #thelist, there was loud outcry and gnashing of teeth in the land, and several people rented their clothes and put ashes on their foreheads to mourn the death of change! And they asked one another in loud groan, "What manner of change is this?"
32And from across the big rivers, Nnam the Bright, Son of Kalu, again addressed King Bubu the son of Hari thus, “Let my people go!”
Similarities of characters portrayed in the text with anyone dead or living is purely coincidental.